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THE FAMILY VERSES

SINGLE, MARRIAGE, OR DIVORCE?
1. Stay single or get married?
I Corinthians 7:1,2, 6-9 – "Now for the matters you wrote about:  It is good for a man not to marry.  But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband……I say this as a concession, not as a command.  I wish that all men were as I am.  But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.  Now to the unmarried and the widows I say:  It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am.  But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."

I Corinthians 7:25-28 – "Now about virgins:  I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy.  Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are.  Are you married?  Do not seek a divorce.  Are you unmarried?  Do not look for a wife.  But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned.  But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this."

I Corinthians 7:32-35 – "I would like you to be free from concern.  An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs---how he can please the Lord.  But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world---how he can please his wife---and his interests are divided.  An unmarried women or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs:  Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit.  But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world---how she can please her husband.  I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord."

2. Stay married or get divorced?
I Corinthians 7:10-16 – "To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord):  A wife must not separate from her husband.  But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband.  And a husband must not divorce his wife.  To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord):  If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her.  And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.  For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband.  Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.  But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so.  A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.  How do you know, wife, whether you will save your wife?

Matthew 19:9 – "I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."

I Corinthians 7:15,16 – "But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so.  A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.  How do you know, whether you will save your husband?  Or, how do you know husband, whether you will save your wife?

I Corinthians 7:29-31 – "What I mean, brothers, is that the time is short.  From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none; those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; those who use the things of this world, as if not engrossed in them.  For this world in its present form is passing away."

MARRIED LIFE?

1. Husbands and wives are equals
Galatians 3:28 – "There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus."

2. The husband's role
I Corinthians 7:3-5 – "The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.  The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband.  In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.  Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer.  Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."

Ephesians 5:25-33 – "Husband, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and give himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.  In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.  He who loves his wife loves himself.  After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church---for we are members of his body.  For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united, and the two will become one flesh.  This is a profound mystery---but I am talking about Christ and the church.  However, each one of you also must love his wife, as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."

I Peter 3:7 – "Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers."

I Peter 5:3 – [elders] "not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock."

Colossians 3:19 – "Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them."

I Corinthians 11:3 –"Now, I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the women is man, and the head of Christ is God."

Proverbs 25:28 – "Like a city who walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control."

4. The wife's role
Ephesians 5:22-24, 33 – "Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything…..However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."

I Peter 3:1-6 – "Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.  Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.  Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which is of great worth in God's sight.  For in this the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful.  They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master.  You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear."

Colossians 3:18 – "Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord."

I Corinthians 11:3 –"Now, I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the women is man, and the head of Christ is God."

Genesis 2:18 – "The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone.  I will make a helper suitable for him."

Proverbs 31:10-12 – "A wife of noble character who can find?  She is worth far more than rubies.  Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.  She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life."

Titus 2:4,5 – "Then they [older women] can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God."

Proverbs 31:13-31 –"She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.  She is like the merchant ships bringing her food from afar.  She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her seven girls.  She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.  She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.  She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.  In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.  She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.  When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.  She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.  Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.  She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.  She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.  She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.  She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.  He children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:  'Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.'  Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.  Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."

Luke 6:31 – "Do to others as you would have them do to you."

Philippians 2:1-4 – "If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, have the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.  Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.  Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."

Ephesians 4:30-31 – "And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.  Get rid of all bitterness and rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

Ephesians 4:29 – "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful in building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."

Galatians 6:1 – "Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently.  But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted."

Proverbs 27:17 – "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

Proverbs 20:5 – "The purposes of a man's heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out."

Proverbs 27:5,6 – "Better is open rebuke than hidden love.  Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses."

Proverbs 28:23 – "He who rebukes a man will in the end gain more favor than he who has a flattering tongue."

I John 1:8-10 –"If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.  If we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives."

James 5:16 – "Therefore confess your sins to each other…"

Proverbs 13:10 – "Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice."

Proverbs 18:19 – "An offended brother is more unyielding than a fortified city, and disputes are like the barred gates of a citadel."

James 1:19.20 – "My dear brothers, take note of this:  Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.:

Proverbs 10:19 – "When words are many, sin is absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise."

Proberbs 18:2 – "A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions."

Proverbs 18:13 – "He who answers before listening---that is his folly and his shame."

Proverbs 18:15 – "The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge; the ears of the wise seek it out."

Proberbs 25:12 – "Like an earring of gold or an ornament of fine gold is a wise man's rebuke to a listening ear."

Ephesians 4:29 – "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful in building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."

Proverbs 12:18 – "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing."

Proverbs 13:3 – "He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin."

Amos 3:3 – "Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?"

James 3:17-21 – "But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.  Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness."

THE FAMILY?

2. The home is to be a place of spiritual instruction
Deuteronomy 6:6,7 –"These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.  Impress them on your children.  Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”

Deuteronomy 6:20-25 – "In the future, when your son asks you, 'What is the meaning of the stipulations, decrees and laws the Lord our God has commanded you?' tell him: 'We were slaves of Pharaoh in Egypt, but the Lord brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand.  Before our eyes the Lord sent miraculous signs and wonders---great and terrible---upon Egypt and Pharaoh and his whole household.  But he brought us out from there to bring us in and give us the land he promised on oath to our forefathers.  The Lord commanded us to obey all these decrees and to fear the Lord our God so that we might always prosper and be kept alive, as is the case today.  And if we are careful to obey all this law before the Lord our God, as he has commanded us, that will be our righteousness."
Psalm 78:5-7 – "He decreed statues for Jacob and established the law in Israel which he commanded our forefathers to teach their children, so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born and they in turn would tell their children.  Then they would put their trust in God and would not forget his deeds but would keep his commands.  They would not be like their forefathers---a stubborn and rebellious generation, whose hearts were not loyal to God, whose spirits were not faithful to him."

II Timothy 1:5 – "I have been reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also."

3. God alone can build the house
Psalm 127:1 - ". . . Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain."

PARENTS AND CHILDREN/
1. Father's role
Ephesians 6:4 – "Fathers do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."

Col 3:21 – "Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged."

Parents' role
Proverbs 22:6 – "Train a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not turn from it."

Proverbs 14:26 – "He who fears the Lord has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge."

I Timothy 4:12 – "…set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity."

The role of discipline
I Samuel 3:13 – "For I told him that I would judge his family forever because of the sin he knew about; his sons made themselves contemptible, and he failed to restrain them."

I Kings 1:6 – (His father [David] had never interfered with him [Adonijah] by asking, 'Why do you behave as you do?'…"

Proverbs 29:15 –"The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother."

Proverbs 19:18 – "Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death."

Proverbs 3:11,12 – "My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in."

Proverbs 13:24 – "He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him."

Proverb 22:15 – "Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him."

Proverbs 23:13,14 – "Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die.  Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death."

Proverbs 29:17 – "Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul."

Ecclesiastes 8:11 – "When the sentence for a crime is not quickly carried out, the hearts of the people are filled with schemes to do wrong."

Isaiah 10:15 – "Does the axe raise itself above him who swings it, or the saw boast against him who uses it?  As if a rod were to wield him who lifts it up, or a club brandish him who is not wood!"

Isaiah 28:27 - "Caraway is not threshed with a sledge, nor is a cartwheel rolled over cummin; caraway is beaten out with a rod, and cummin with a stick." (Isaiah 28:27)

Exodus 21:20 – "If a man beats his male or female slave with a rod and the slave dies as a direct result, he must be punished."

Leviticus 27:32 – "The entire tithe of the herd and flock---every tenth animal that passes under the shepherd's rod---will be holy to the Lord."

Psalm 23:4 – "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me."

4. Parents proper attitude toward their children - gratitude
Genesis 33:5 – "Then Esau looked up and saw the women and children.  'Who are these with you?'  He asked.  Jacob answered, 'They are the children God has graciously given your servant.'"

Psalm 127:3-5 – "Sons are heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him.  Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth.  Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.  They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate."

5. Children's role
Ephesians 6:1-3 – "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  'Honor your father and mother---which is the first commandment with a promise--'that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.'"

Colossians 3:20 – "Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord."

Proverbs 1:8 – "Listen my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching."

Proverbs 5:1 – "My son, pay attention to my wisdom, listen well to my words of insight,"

Proverbs 6:20 – "My son, keep your father's commands and do not forsake your mother's teaching."

Proverbs 3:1-6,11,12 – "My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, for they will prolong your life many years and bring you prosperity.  Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.  Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.  Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight………My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in."